Let’s All Stop Enabling People
And calling it love.
Enabling has been a theme at the forefront of my life lately, and I’ve been catching myself in it left right and center. I’ve come to realize that it’s not a form of loyalty, and it’s certainly not a healthy way to love someone, either. But it used to feel far too comfortable for me; that is — until it didn’t.
The problem is that enabling can quickly become so ingrained and habitual that it becomes difficult to see it for what it really is. And through enabling, we tend to inadvertently compound the problem, not solve it. We end up feeling resentful and exploited, without actually fixing the original issue.
Just because I can help someone, doesn’t mean that I should. And often, help looks like something different (or opposite) than what the person is asking for.
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So with that in mind, let’s dive a little deeper into what enabling really is.
What is enabling?
Enabling is doing something for someone else, or tolerating someone else’s behavior, in a way that reinforces unhealthy and self-destructive patterns in the other person. And enabling is often at the expense of that person learning from their mistakes and taking responsibility for their…
